I Hate Fasting.....

I hate fasting. I know my youth director told me hate is a strong word and that is exactly why I am using it. I am not good at fasting. I always find a way to cheat and cut corners. This morning I began a fast for the season of Lent and I even found myself almost cutting a corner (using chicken broth instead of vegetable broth for a soup I made). Luckily there was some vegetable broth hiding in the pantry and I was saved from breaking my fast in the first 2 hours.

I often wonder why I hate fasting. I never really fasted until I got to Florida City and to my surprise my church was all about fasting. Fasting when the students go back to school, fasting before we go to camp, fasting for Lent, fasting in the New Year. Really, I feel like every other month we are fasting. At times I will make excuses not to fast- some valid - some not. "I haven't spiritually prepared" I'll say. "I don't want to waste the groceries in the fridge." The list goes on.

In preparation for this fast, The Daniel Fast, that me and members of my congregation are doing I have pondered this question. I think I have reached some kind of conclusion. I love grace. How's that for an answer. Sounds like a cop-out, but its not. I give grace like it is a free sample in the food court at the mall. I give it to others and definitely give it to myself. Often times I start and finish a fast but through the whole fast I give myself grace. At the end of the fast I am then mainly just eating and fasting when I feel like it. Grace abounds!

Although grace is a wonderful principle to live by, especially if you are a pastor, especially if you are United Methodist. At the distribution of grace, I am cheating myself of the spiritual growth that comes through the struggle of self-discipline. The struggle of having a headache- which I already have because my body is crying out for coffee. Instead of giving the footnote to my fast to read, "coffee necessary", I will drink lots of water and pray and ponder the question, "why in the heck am I doing this?"

Tonight at Branches United Methodist Church we will gather in the shell of our building for our Ash Wednesday Service. There we will remember our struggle throughout the past four years. We will also remember God's faithfulness through the struggle. As we sit by candlelight in the half-finished project we will also ponder the ways in which we are not all the way "finished". Fasting is a glaring reminder to me that my spiritual journey is still in process.

 In the book of Philippians in the New Testament of the Bible Paul writes to a church who has prayed for him and to whom he has helped build. He writes in the opening of the letter to the church in verse six, "I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work among you will bring it to completion by the day of Jesus Christ." Paul reminds each of us that the work of God in us is not complete. God still has much to do with us, our churches, our selves, our spirits, our bodies. 

This Lent my prayer for myself and my church is that each of us begin a journey, maybe its fasting, maybe its giving something up, maybe its taking something on, or maybe its some other sort of journey. The important part is that we begin a spiritual journey. The journey might be uncomfortable, hard, routine, or painful but in the struggle we are promised and must trust that the Holy Spirit is with us and working on us. So I will be fasting without grace. My journey is one of self-discipline and trust. I'm sure by the end of my fast I will still saying confidently, "I hate fasting...." I am also sure that I will have grown and it will be worth it. May the same be with you dear friends!

Great soup recipe from this mourning!