A Season of Waiting

"But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Nothing says "WAIT" like the South-Dade Tag Agency. Every year around this time I go to renew my tags for my car and every year I expect to wait about two hours to go through the line. Now I know many of you are thinking- "you know you can do that online", or "you know you can renew for two years." I know all those things and never quite get around to doing them and in some ways I am a bit thankful for that.

This year started like most, driving to the tag agency, looking at all the people standing outside waiting in line, sitting in my car and trying to figure out another time to come back, justifying waiting one more day to get in done, and then finally hearing my mother, the insurance agents voice in my ear, "Audrey you can't get another ticket!" So I get out of the car and wait in line.

This year to my surprise I noticed a woman a few people ahead of me. She attended the church, became a member, and I even baptized her baby. I hadn't seen her all summer. We had a great conversation and I told her about the Spanish Service that just started back up.

After a lovely conversation and about an hour of waiting I finally got to the cashier to be told I had unpaid tolls and I couldn't renew my tag until it was taken care of. They gave me an 800 number to call, assured me I would wait on hold for another hour , and then I could wait another two hours for the fax to arrive. They let me know I could call in three hours when all things were sorted and I could check if they got the fax.Once that all ended I could come back in and I wouldn't have to wait in line to renew my registration. 

Now, most would be embarrassed to share this story but about every other person in line had an unpaid toll was being told the same thing I was being told. Many of us stood outside trying to pay online sharing frustration, rolling eyes, and even laughed a little. Many left in anger, others gave up, but I pressed on. I paid but only needed the fax, so I pressed on pressing every option for help until the administrator answered the phone. Hearing the desperation in my voice he transferred me to another person who sent the fax in through a regular fax machine which took only five minutes. ALL DONE..MY WAIT WAS OVER....almost. 

When I went back in the woman checked-in and said she didn't receive the fax and that the woman was probably wrong. So I decided to go run errands and wait for the fax only to get a call from the MDX Tolls administrator asking for another fax number because the one I gave her was wrong. So I gave it to her and she told me it should go through in five minutes. I went back to the tag agency and all the agents were astonished at how fast I managed to get the fax in. The woman behind the counter called me "blessed" even and said I must have some guardian angels watching over me

I thought to myself, that was all a bit dramatic, but then I paused my cynicism and thought for a moment about how I am "blessed". I was blessed to re-connect with a member from the church, I was blessed to connect with people (even in the means of eye-rolling) who I might never connect with otherwise, and I was blessed to even have a car to drive.

Although the wait was awful it was definitely worth it! In the waiting God renewed my strength in God, myself, and in humanity! This advent I pray that in waiting you too might look for the hidden opportunities to serve or simply use it as a time to pray or talk with God. Who knows what blessings you might encounter!

Prayer: Holy God in this season of advent as we wait for you may we not show partiality to which places we think you might show up. Help us to have eyes to see you in all our waiting and believe that you have a blessing also waiting for us! 

Worshiping God in a Strange Land....

             The word strange and change are no strangers to our community here at Branches. More than any other time this past Lent brought to us at Branches much change and many foreign feelings and happenings. More than ever I became aware of the great power of these types of experiences. A few weeks into my very disciplined fast a change happened that effected me in a powerful way, with that change I could no longer fast. I could not describe why at the time and I knew it was not about excuses. As I have been reflecting and praying the past few months I am coming to understand that like our bodies our spirits can only do so much. At the time I see now that all my spiritual energy needed to go to the change we were experiencing. Although my flesh and my mind were willing, my spirit was weak. I learned in a big way how essential the spiritual part is in a spiritual discipline. Change has incredible power over our spirit. Yet, as my dad's wise AA sponsor has always told me, "the only thing that is constant is change." So once again we are finding ourselves in the strange world of change and movement. For the fourth time in five years Branches UMC will be calling a new place home! Although the place is not secured yet we know it will be a school and not too far from our current location. 

 

Some days I am exhausted by the constant change but recently in my quiet time in the mornings the Holy Spirit has turned my mind to the question,  "What is God doing in the midst of this?" This question does not make me tired but inspires me as to how our congregation can continue to be creative in the challenge before us! What new people will we meet on the street our temporary space will be on? How can we invite the direct community of our new temporary space to be part of our community of faith? 

 

The Chosen People of God from early on in scripture were no strangers to strange places or moves. In fact they were always on the move, and being displaced. In this time of transition we might be tempted to ask as the Israelites did in Babylon, "How shall we sing the Lord's song in a Strange land?" Ps. 137:4. Yet, in the next chapter of the Psalms the writer makes the decision to praise God and when she does she comes to this conclusion at the end of the Psalm, "Though I walk in the midst of trouble,  you preserve me against the wrath of my enemies, you stretch out your hand, and your right hand delivers me. The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me,  your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands." 

 

My prayer for us in this season of transition is that we will trust that God will not forsake the work of God's hands. God is at work fulfilling the purposes set forth for us at Branches. As we watch, wait, and work may trust in a God who goes with us and whose love endures through it all. 

 

I want that.....!

I LOVE Chipotle. I loved them because they signed the Fair Food Agreement with the CIW. I love Chipotle because one of my good friends works for them and loves her job. I also love Chipotle for their fresh and delicious food. For these reasons and more I went there Saturday after a training to pick up a quick lunch for me and my husband. His order, the chicken bowl, complete with deliciously flavorful chicken, cheese and sour cream. My order was also a veggie bowl with brown rice, beans, and LOTS of veggies. I got home we opened them up and all within me yelled, "I want that.....not this....." For about five minutes my attitude stayed the same until I realized I was majorly coveting and be that, "do not covet", is one of the ten commandments I should probably stop and be thankful for what I have to eat. Surprisingly the attitude adjustment worked quite well and I did actually enjoy my veggie bowl.

Food is so necessary and regular that it really does become a great
examine into the other parts of ones life, even the spiritual parts, especially the spiritual parts. My Chipotle coveting experience has since caused me to pause and reflect on the spiritual demon that coveting can becoming in ones life. The truth is that coveting does not only happen in my life concerning food but also concerning material things. I look at preachers using an I Pad to preach and I want it. I see friends making big bonuses and earning fabulous trips around the world and I want it. Lets be clear I am not saying Ipads, Chipotle chicken bowls, and trips are bad. They are actually all very good. In fact I just took an amazing honeymoon that was very good. What I am saying is that there is danger is coveting as it almost immediately  goes to battle with contentment within me. At times coveting what someone else has causes me to ponder and question again my values, calling, and mission to which I believe God has called me.

This past week in worship at Branches UMC we read the story of Jesus being tempted in the dessert. Although I am fasting from certain things Jesus' temptations were much different than mine and many of ours today. The temptations were to turn rocks into bread, to jump off a cliff and save himself, and to have total power of all kingdoms in exchange for worshiping Satan. To each temptation Jesus resisted. The temptations in themselves were not necessarily bad things. Turning bread into stones could solve world hunger. Jesus could have possibly stocked up in followers by jumping off a cliff and saving himself. Worldly power could have also saved Jesus a lot of hassle both with those pesky Pharisees and the Roman government.

The problem with the temptations is that they were not part of the plan Jesus came to accomplish. Jesus did not come to solve world hunger. Jesus was against miracle-based evangelism. Jesus started his following not by aligning himself with the most powerful but with the most vulnerable and willing. The inciting plans of Satan were not Jesus' plans. Most times the temptations in our lives are not the worst things for us and in some ways might even be the best thing for us. The following questions have helped me this past week of fasting and in other hot mess moments of coveting.

1. Is this thing necessary for my mission in which God is calling me? (Mission might be fast, job, calling, relationship, vocation.)
2. Will this thing compromise my mission in which God is calling me? (The compromise could be financial, relational, etc.)
3. Can I wait patiently for this thing if it could one day be part of my mission with God?

Usually the answers to these questions help me to discern what is best for me and help me to live contently not only in my material possessions but in my calling as well. The great benefit of restraint is that in the process one is always being changed. I remember my first summer as a camp counselor when I was told I could only bring one trunk to put all my clothes and supplies in for the summer . After a summer of a limited wardrobe I was content with that wardrobe and really didn't feel the need to want anything else.

 Recently a yoga friend of mine told me she was subscribing to the ReThink church Lent challenge. She commented how refreshing it was to do something every day that was positive. She said, "really this challenge should be every day not just forty days." The work of fasting, restraint, challenge is to slowly habituate us deeper into the life and calling God wants for us. Possibly this is one of the reasons that within our tradition fasting has been so important in preparation for God's mission. My prayer is that this fast will help my habitual impulse of, "I want that..." to be transformed to, "I'm happy with what I have." May it be so. 

I Hate Fasting.....

I hate fasting. I know my youth director told me hate is a strong word and that is exactly why I am using it. I am not good at fasting. I always find a way to cheat and cut corners. This morning I began a fast for the season of Lent and I even found myself almost cutting a corner (using chicken broth instead of vegetable broth for a soup I made). Luckily there was some vegetable broth hiding in the pantry and I was saved from breaking my fast in the first 2 hours.

I often wonder why I hate fasting. I never really fasted until I got to Florida City and to my surprise my church was all about fasting. Fasting when the students go back to school, fasting before we go to camp, fasting for Lent, fasting in the New Year. Really, I feel like every other month we are fasting. At times I will make excuses not to fast- some valid - some not. "I haven't spiritually prepared" I'll say. "I don't want to waste the groceries in the fridge." The list goes on.

In preparation for this fast, The Daniel Fast, that me and members of my congregation are doing I have pondered this question. I think I have reached some kind of conclusion. I love grace. How's that for an answer. Sounds like a cop-out, but its not. I give grace like it is a free sample in the food court at the mall. I give it to others and definitely give it to myself. Often times I start and finish a fast but through the whole fast I give myself grace. At the end of the fast I am then mainly just eating and fasting when I feel like it. Grace abounds!

Although grace is a wonderful principle to live by, especially if you are a pastor, especially if you are United Methodist. At the distribution of grace, I am cheating myself of the spiritual growth that comes through the struggle of self-discipline. The struggle of having a headache- which I already have because my body is crying out for coffee. Instead of giving the footnote to my fast to read, "coffee necessary", I will drink lots of water and pray and ponder the question, "why in the heck am I doing this?"

Tonight at Branches United Methodist Church we will gather in the shell of our building for our Ash Wednesday Service. There we will remember our struggle throughout the past four years. We will also remember God's faithfulness through the struggle. As we sit by candlelight in the half-finished project we will also ponder the ways in which we are not all the way "finished". Fasting is a glaring reminder to me that my spiritual journey is still in process.

 In the book of Philippians in the New Testament of the Bible Paul writes to a church who has prayed for him and to whom he has helped build. He writes in the opening of the letter to the church in verse six, "I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work among you will bring it to completion by the day of Jesus Christ." Paul reminds each of us that the work of God in us is not complete. God still has much to do with us, our churches, our selves, our spirits, our bodies. 

This Lent my prayer for myself and my church is that each of us begin a journey, maybe its fasting, maybe its giving something up, maybe its taking something on, or maybe its some other sort of journey. The important part is that we begin a spiritual journey. The journey might be uncomfortable, hard, routine, or painful but in the struggle we are promised and must trust that the Holy Spirit is with us and working on us. So I will be fasting without grace. My journey is one of self-discipline and trust. I'm sure by the end of my fast I will still saying confidently, "I hate fasting...." I am also sure that I will have grown and it will be worth it. May the same be with you dear friends!

Great soup recipe from this mourning!

Epiphany: Visions of God

In Ancient Greek, the word epiphany is translated as, Theophany, Θεοφάνεια, theophaneia, meaning "vision of God." For me epiphany has always been a great time of hope brought through the revelation that God has come to earth through the birth of Jesus Christ. I can't imagine what a great surprise this was to the wisemen, Mary, Joseph, and all who believed. Finally, the one prophesied in Isaiah has come to make things right and bring about peace to all and justice.

Yet, more than two thousand years after the great revelation it is a bit harder to believe and have hope that God is still doing new things. Most days in the world that I live in it seems as if the world is bent towards injustice and the only bit of justice that shows her face is wrought out of some sort of corruption. As I await and prepare for our big celebration of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at Branches, I am inspired by the hope Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. had when he proclaimed, “The moral arc of justice is long, but it bends towards justice.”

This epiphany although I do not see any signs of new life I chose to believe they are coming. Although I do not see the arc bending too deeply right now I must sit and force myself to remember the ways God has made himself known this past year. The next few days I would like to share with you the visions of God, the visions of hope that I have seen.

Today, I am reminded of the way the United Methodist Church has divested from the private prison industry. Prior the UMC was invested in CCA and GEO Group (GEO group being the private prison company who tried to build an ICE Immigration Detention Center in Florida City, which would hugely affect the farming industry and family life of our community!) You can follow this link to read the press release sent by the General Board of Pensions and Health Benefits of the United Methodist Church, www.gbophb.org/news/releases/pr20120103.asp. CCA and GEO Group are companies that are becoming rich off of imprisoning people.

Private Prisons will only turn a profit if people continue to behave badly. They rejoice while others mourn. They shout for joy as others cry. In order to continue to bring in a profit private prisons are now building and running many of the Immigration Detention Centers. So it is not so surprising that GEO Group and CCA have been huge advocates for the anti-immigrants laws in states like Arizona and Georgia. An investigation by NPR in 2010 proved right that CCA was involved in the drafting of Arizona's illegal immigration law through their involvement with the American Legislative Exchange Council.

The efforts of the UMC might seem small but I believe it is a big thing whenever individuals, churches, or businesses can say "no" in the face of injustice. God is doing something new! May we all believe! May we continue to look and watch and participate in the new things God is doing!

Day 3-The Coffee Can

Today I went out to a garden and preschool out in a township called, Claremont. Claremont is one of the oldest townships in the Kwa Zulu Natal Region and a place where many political leaders went to hide during the struggle.

I went to Claremont to help lead a group of Americans from Atlanta see the work of Phakamisa (which means to lift up in Zulu). You can go to their website, www.phakamisa.org, and check out their amazing work! When we arrived at the garden I was overwhelmed with hope and joy as I met, Isaac, one of the newer employees of Phakamisa whose main job is to teach and help grandmothers in townships plant gardens. Isaac showed us the spinach and carrot plants, the mango and papaya trees, and introduced us to the faithful women who make it all happen. All will filled with pride and hope.

Next we went to a preschool started by a women who had her formal training as a preschool teacher four years ago at Phakamisa training center. She is a natural teacher and leader. The children all listened and laughed at the appropriate times. The children sang and were silly in their free time. Again, I was filled with hope and brought to tears as I watched the teacher who was my age give her life to teaching the poorest of the poor kids. I dreamt how life might be different for each kid there because of her care and instruction. She helps them to dream with the fantasy center she set up. She gives them a step ahead as she teaches them lessons that they will be taught when they reach primary school.
While the kids were eating their snack, one little girl who looked a bit scared the whole time asked the teacher to use the bathroom. The teacher led her outside while trying to manage snack time, so I offered to take the girl to the bathroom. I didn't realize when I offered to take her I was taking her to the coffee can outside the small wooden one room school house. I finally realized why she had looked so scared and preoccupied. She needed to use the restroom but didn't want to while all the kids and guest were gathered outside. I am still filled with hope, but I was reminded by the coffee can, how much work still can be done here in South Africa. The financial crisis is just hitting South Africa and like the US the non-profits here are being hit the hardest. This is a time where we can be a part of the hope. I wonder how each of us can live with less so others can simply live.

Before I left Branches collected Pennies for Phakamisa and in a few short weeks we collected $40 in pennies. When I get back we will continue this effort, but maybe we will collect them in a coffee can instead of a milk jug.

Day 2- Bacon Rolls and the Biggest Hug in the world!

Sunday I had the great opportunity to serve at my church here in SA, Pinetown MC. We made bacon and egg rolls to sell as a fundraiser for the church. Most of the eggs I made were rubbish but people still bought them. 1000 R raised, and as we know at Branches, every little bit counts.

At 11am I went with my friend Umpumi to the Zulu service at the church. The singing sprung from the souls of the men and women there. We sang and danced and worshiped God. I did not know but three words the whole time, but I did know the Holy Spirit was there. I shared a few minutes about Branches and the fire. After I shared and the next song began the largest woman there came to me with tears in her eyes and gave me one of the largest and deepest hugs I have ever gotten. She didn't have to say anything and she could have embraced me after the service, but she came right when the Spirit told her and gave me the gift that I needed at that moment. I knew that the people from Pinetown had been praying for us in Florida City and her hug seemed to carry all the weight of those prayers I had felt the past year.

In the evening I went back to church for the night service where I got to see so many friends, some whom I have known now for over 5 years. We worshiped together and I shared a bit about Branches per their request. I was reminded in a huge way as I shared in the morning and the evening how much this place prepared me to be a pastor and in the ministry setting in which I am. How grateful I am for Ian, the pastor, and Glenda, the director of Phakamisa, and so many others who have been along with on the journey. As I have had time to reflect I am so grateful to God for the ways that the Spirit was preparing me to be in ministry now and to be who I am today. My friends at Branches, I wonder what God might be preparing you for in the future?