I want that.....!

I LOVE Chipotle. I loved them because they signed the Fair Food Agreement with the CIW. I love Chipotle because one of my good friends works for them and loves her job. I also love Chipotle for their fresh and delicious food. For these reasons and more I went there Saturday after a training to pick up a quick lunch for me and my husband. His order, the chicken bowl, complete with deliciously flavorful chicken, cheese and sour cream. My order was also a veggie bowl with brown rice, beans, and LOTS of veggies. I got home we opened them up and all within me yelled, "I want that.....not this....." For about five minutes my attitude stayed the same until I realized I was majorly coveting and be that, "do not covet", is one of the ten commandments I should probably stop and be thankful for what I have to eat. Surprisingly the attitude adjustment worked quite well and I did actually enjoy my veggie bowl.

Food is so necessary and regular that it really does become a great
examine into the other parts of ones life, even the spiritual parts, especially the spiritual parts. My Chipotle coveting experience has since caused me to pause and reflect on the spiritual demon that coveting can becoming in ones life. The truth is that coveting does not only happen in my life concerning food but also concerning material things. I look at preachers using an I Pad to preach and I want it. I see friends making big bonuses and earning fabulous trips around the world and I want it. Lets be clear I am not saying Ipads, Chipotle chicken bowls, and trips are bad. They are actually all very good. In fact I just took an amazing honeymoon that was very good. What I am saying is that there is danger is coveting as it almost immediately  goes to battle with contentment within me. At times coveting what someone else has causes me to ponder and question again my values, calling, and mission to which I believe God has called me.

This past week in worship at Branches UMC we read the story of Jesus being tempted in the dessert. Although I am fasting from certain things Jesus' temptations were much different than mine and many of ours today. The temptations were to turn rocks into bread, to jump off a cliff and save himself, and to have total power of all kingdoms in exchange for worshiping Satan. To each temptation Jesus resisted. The temptations in themselves were not necessarily bad things. Turning bread into stones could solve world hunger. Jesus could have possibly stocked up in followers by jumping off a cliff and saving himself. Worldly power could have also saved Jesus a lot of hassle both with those pesky Pharisees and the Roman government.

The problem with the temptations is that they were not part of the plan Jesus came to accomplish. Jesus did not come to solve world hunger. Jesus was against miracle-based evangelism. Jesus started his following not by aligning himself with the most powerful but with the most vulnerable and willing. The inciting plans of Satan were not Jesus' plans. Most times the temptations in our lives are not the worst things for us and in some ways might even be the best thing for us. The following questions have helped me this past week of fasting and in other hot mess moments of coveting.

1. Is this thing necessary for my mission in which God is calling me? (Mission might be fast, job, calling, relationship, vocation.)
2. Will this thing compromise my mission in which God is calling me? (The compromise could be financial, relational, etc.)
3. Can I wait patiently for this thing if it could one day be part of my mission with God?

Usually the answers to these questions help me to discern what is best for me and help me to live contently not only in my material possessions but in my calling as well. The great benefit of restraint is that in the process one is always being changed. I remember my first summer as a camp counselor when I was told I could only bring one trunk to put all my clothes and supplies in for the summer . After a summer of a limited wardrobe I was content with that wardrobe and really didn't feel the need to want anything else.

 Recently a yoga friend of mine told me she was subscribing to the ReThink church Lent challenge. She commented how refreshing it was to do something every day that was positive. She said, "really this challenge should be every day not just forty days." The work of fasting, restraint, challenge is to slowly habituate us deeper into the life and calling God wants for us. Possibly this is one of the reasons that within our tradition fasting has been so important in preparation for God's mission. My prayer is that this fast will help my habitual impulse of, "I want that..." to be transformed to, "I'm happy with what I have." May it be so. 

I Hate Fasting.....

I hate fasting. I know my youth director told me hate is a strong word and that is exactly why I am using it. I am not good at fasting. I always find a way to cheat and cut corners. This morning I began a fast for the season of Lent and I even found myself almost cutting a corner (using chicken broth instead of vegetable broth for a soup I made). Luckily there was some vegetable broth hiding in the pantry and I was saved from breaking my fast in the first 2 hours.

I often wonder why I hate fasting. I never really fasted until I got to Florida City and to my surprise my church was all about fasting. Fasting when the students go back to school, fasting before we go to camp, fasting for Lent, fasting in the New Year. Really, I feel like every other month we are fasting. At times I will make excuses not to fast- some valid - some not. "I haven't spiritually prepared" I'll say. "I don't want to waste the groceries in the fridge." The list goes on.

In preparation for this fast, The Daniel Fast, that me and members of my congregation are doing I have pondered this question. I think I have reached some kind of conclusion. I love grace. How's that for an answer. Sounds like a cop-out, but its not. I give grace like it is a free sample in the food court at the mall. I give it to others and definitely give it to myself. Often times I start and finish a fast but through the whole fast I give myself grace. At the end of the fast I am then mainly just eating and fasting when I feel like it. Grace abounds!

Although grace is a wonderful principle to live by, especially if you are a pastor, especially if you are United Methodist. At the distribution of grace, I am cheating myself of the spiritual growth that comes through the struggle of self-discipline. The struggle of having a headache- which I already have because my body is crying out for coffee. Instead of giving the footnote to my fast to read, "coffee necessary", I will drink lots of water and pray and ponder the question, "why in the heck am I doing this?"

Tonight at Branches United Methodist Church we will gather in the shell of our building for our Ash Wednesday Service. There we will remember our struggle throughout the past four years. We will also remember God's faithfulness through the struggle. As we sit by candlelight in the half-finished project we will also ponder the ways in which we are not all the way "finished". Fasting is a glaring reminder to me that my spiritual journey is still in process.

 In the book of Philippians in the New Testament of the Bible Paul writes to a church who has prayed for him and to whom he has helped build. He writes in the opening of the letter to the church in verse six, "I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work among you will bring it to completion by the day of Jesus Christ." Paul reminds each of us that the work of God in us is not complete. God still has much to do with us, our churches, our selves, our spirits, our bodies. 

This Lent my prayer for myself and my church is that each of us begin a journey, maybe its fasting, maybe its giving something up, maybe its taking something on, or maybe its some other sort of journey. The important part is that we begin a spiritual journey. The journey might be uncomfortable, hard, routine, or painful but in the struggle we are promised and must trust that the Holy Spirit is with us and working on us. So I will be fasting without grace. My journey is one of self-discipline and trust. I'm sure by the end of my fast I will still saying confidently, "I hate fasting...." I am also sure that I will have grown and it will be worth it. May the same be with you dear friends!

Great soup recipe from this mourning!